


I Can't Close My Eyes Without Seeing You Dead

by Xray_and_Vav_to_the_rescue (RedLikeRayses)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry for this, M/M, Near Death Experience, PTSD, Sort of? - Freeform, TW for blood, car crash, truly i am, tw for mentions of a needle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:38:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2689715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLikeRayses/pseuds/Xray_and_Vav_to_the_rescue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is haunting Gavin, and it's a long road to recovery.It's up to Burnie to help him get there.</p><p>But they're getting there. One step at a time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Close My Eyes Without Seeing You Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Someone requested short,angsty Burnvin so here you go.

_ "Gavin, put your goddamn tongue back in your mouth or so help me." _

 

_ Gavin could barely hear Burnie's voice over the loud wind. He sat properly in the car seat and ducked his head back into the car, turning to grin at the older man. "Nake ne,” he responded cheerfully, letting his tongue hang out of his mouth.  _

 

_ Without even looking, Burnie reached his hand out to flick Gavin's tongue. But before he could, the Brit quickly retracted it and pouted. "Burrrnieeee," he whined.  _

 

_ "What are you, a fucking dog?"Burnie asked him, shaking his head. _

 

_ "Wot! Have you never stuck your head out the window of a moving car before?It's bloody top!" _

 

_ Burnie slowed to a stop as the light at an intersection turned red. "No, I haven't, because i'm not an animal.”  _

 

_ Gavin stuck his tongue out at him. "Well, you should try it sometime! I'll drive,” he added mischievously. _

 

_ "NO," Burnie immediately replied, hands tightening on the steering wheel. _

 

_ Gavin laughed at his reaction. Burnie relaxed and shot a fake glare at the younger man,which was ruined by the fond smile on his face. "God,you're lucky I love you." The light turned green and he slowly pulled out into the intersection. _

 

_ “Aw, Burns.” Gavin smiled sweetly at him."I lo-" _

 

**_SMASH!_ **

 

_ The world spun. A stabbing pain shot through Gavin's right arm as he was slammed against his door. He tried to cry out, but his heart leapt into his throat. Everything was spinning, spinning. Which way was up? Which way was down? Were they even still on Earth anymore? _

 

_ After what seemed like an eternity, the world righted itself once more. He opened his eyes-when had he closed them?-and groaned softly, slowly turning his head to observe his surroundings. There were muffled shouts coming from all around him, and a blurry combination of red and blue was flashing through his sight. The car somehow seemed smaller, almost as if it had been scrunched up. Then his eyes fell on the seat next to him. And that's when the panic started to set in. _

 

_ "B-Burnie?", he croaked. It hurt to talk, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything at that moment. The only thing he cared about was the man sitting next to him with his eyes closed and his head resting against the steering wheel. Blood trickled out the corners of his mouth and was pooling into a small puddle on his seat.  _

 

_ "Burnie,please," Gavin whispered. He ignored the pain that shot through his arm and reached out to the older man. He managed to grasp a small tuft of his hair. There was no response. Gavin clumsily went to undo his seatbelt, ignoring the blood that stained his hands. Once he was finally free, he turned to face Burnie and started shaking him.  _

 

_ "Burnie! Burnie, please, come on! Love, come on, wake up, you have to wake up, please! I'm begging you, Burns! WAKE UP!" His voice was just a horse whisper, and the pain mixed with the fear brought tears to Gavin's eyes. "No. No, you can't be dead, you bloody bastard. You can't leave me here! Don't you dare be dead. PLEASE. I need you, Burnie! I-I  _ **_love you_ ** _ , you mong! Wake up!" _

 

_ Suddenly, a blinding light seared into Gavin's eyes, and he instinctively swung his right arm to shield his eyes. He cried out in pain and fell back against his door. Muffled chatter reached his ears, but he couldn't discern what was being said. He tentatively brought his arm back to his side. He couldn't register where the light was coming from. He couldn't tell who the muffled voices belonged to. The only thing he could understand was that, whoever these people were, they were taking Burnie away from him. _

 

_ Gavin became hysterical. "No! No, don't take him! Please, no!"  _

 

_ He didn't even notice that his door had been wrenched open until a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him out of the car. Intense pain shot through his body, and he screamed in agony. There was a sharp sting in his right arm, and he looked to see that it was from a needle. He began to get very drowsy, and his vision blurred. "No...please...Burnie,no...don't...." _

 

_ His murmurs went unheard, and the last thing he saw was the love of his life, bloody and unconscious, being loaded into an ambulance on a gourney. _

 

Gavin shot straight up in bed, panting heavily. Sweat poured down his face and soaked the sheets beneath him. His chest heaved as tears formed in his eyes, making his vision go blurry. Furiously, he wiped them away.  _ No. I'm not going to cry. Not now. _

 

"Gav?" 

 

Burnie's sleepy voice reached Gavin's ears, and he turned to look at the man. Burnie sat up and reached over to turn the bedside lamp on. Gavin turned away and made to get out of bed. "Shit,sorry Burns," he muttered. 

 

Burnie grasped his arm, and Gavin froze, looking at him. The white bandage on his head was slightly tinged with red, and his eyes were awake and full of understanding. "It happened again,didn't it?”

 

Sighing, Gavin lowered his gaze and nodded. 

 

Burnie thought for a moment before tugging at Gavin's arm. "Come on. I think my bandage needs to be changed anyway." 

 

Gavin tiredly nodded his head in agreement. "I'll get the stuff."

 

Burnie nodded and let go of his arm.

 

As Gavin made his way down the hallway, he dug his nails into his palms and grit his teeth _. Damnit.I didn't mean to wake him up _ . He grabbed their medical kit and shuffled to the bathroom in the master bedroom to meet Burnie.

 

Burnie was sitting on the toilet when Gavin got there. He gave an apologetic smile to the older man. "Sorry, love. Didn't mean to wake you up." Burnie stayed silent,staring at Gavin thoughtfully. Gavin sighed and knelt down in front of his boyfriend to begin their nightly ritual of changing his head bandage.

 

"You had another another flashback." Burnie said simply.

 

Gavin's hands froze for a second before finishing with wrapping the new bandage around his head. "Yeah." He wasn't going to try to deny it when there was clear evidence.

 

"Gavin-" 

 

"I'm sorry. Truly, i am. I'm sorry about everything. I'm so s-"

 

"Gavin." Burnie grasped the Brit's hands and stared into his eyes. "Stop," he told him softly. "It's not your fault, Gav. None of it is."

 

Gavin's eyebrows furrowed. "If i hadn't wanted to go to that damn bar-"

 

"-then that asshole might have slammed into someone else and actually killed them,” Burnie interrupted. He rested his forehead against Gavin’s. "Come on. Let’s go back to bed." He stood up and pulled Gavin up with him. 

 

Instead of going back to their bed, however, the older man plopped down onto the big armchair in the corner of the room, pulling Gavin into his lap.

 

"I nearly lost you, Burnie," Gavin whispered, curling up in his boyfriend's lap. "I was _ so  _ close to being alone....I didn't even get to say 'I love you'."

 

Burnie combed his fingers through Gavin's messy hair. "I know, Gav. I know. But i'm here, with you, right now. You’re not alone. And guess what? I'm not going anywhere."

 

Gavin clutched his plaid shirt and looked up into his eyes. "Promise?" 

 

"Promise."

 

Gavin relaxed and lay his head on Burnie's chest, closing his eyes. "I love you, Burnie."

 

"I love you too, Gav."

 

And now, Gavin wasn't as scared to go back to sleep. Because he knew that Burnie would always be there. He would stay by his side, through thick and thin, through all the horrible memories that haunted him. He would always be there with Burnie.

 

And Burnie would always be there with him.


End file.
